ByeBye

Oh man, I am sick of that Russian Vodka advert, sick of Confusion Girl being played 2-3 times a day on Co-op radio, and espcially sick of rude customers. That’s why this next 14 days are going to be bliss.

Ireland for the week means the only advert’s I’ll be getting is for everything main street Letterkenny or Buncrana, and who can complain about those?

Paris after just means lovely get-a-way time with the girlfriend, can I wait? No.

Last night we was all out at Tiger Tiger Leicester Square celebrating the girlfriend’s birthday and as amazing a night it was, I don’t think I have ever sweated more. Ok, I have, for sure. But it felt like I had not there and then.

No idea why anyone would want to know that but lets just deliver it as if its advice to not wear much going there. Unless you are a girl, ’cause there is an outstanding amount of perverts.

I must actually sleep soon as I am dying of getting in at 5.30am for two nights and then going to Georges to install a sound card for him in the morning, but that was all worth it as we had the most immense lunch of meat; a burger and a pork chop each. The pork chop was garnished with processed cheese, much to George’s brother’s horror but I will tell you this:

It was amazing!

This was eaten to The Premiership Years 98/99, which is definitely one of the greatest footballing seasons ever. Spot on.

So goodbye world for a little while,

and a little shout-out to the rude bitch who looked like whinny the pooh who asked me to not take all day getting her tins of custard; go get your own tins of custard, the exercise wont kill you.

Currently listening to: Sonic Youth - Washing Machine.

A special Uranus treat on your birthday

Wow, you’re a lovely colour. Have you just got back from holiday abroad?

“Nope. I was in a field just north of Hastings” was my response to the inquisitive  woman in the co-op.

I got nicely burnt from the lovely English sunshine last week from camping with my buddies near Hastings. I have an amazingly red face, but today its starting to colour and stop peeling. This is all thanks to the wonders of After-Sun. God bless you.

Talking of God. I went to church today as it was for the intention of my Grandad, may he rest in peace, and i will be at work during the mass tomorrow when the family come.

The sermon was about an elderly man recently who was assisted to commit suicide because he was in poor condition and his quality of life was only lowering day after day. Obviously, the church stands against this and suicide is always considered a sin. No matter the circumstances. The sermon went on about the Bridgend suicides last year and mentioned the media’s coverage of it as glamourising suicide to young people.

More examples of how the church is too outdated for issues like this in our modern day. Much like its views on abortion.

A recent poll in The Times showed a 95% approval for those who are terminally ill to be assisted in taking their life, whilst 56% also agreed with change in law for those who are in “extreme” pain to be allowed also in being aided for suicide.

It’s a massive ethical minefield though as who decides who can kill who?

I stand with believing to allow those with terminal conditions being allowed to ask for assisted suicide. But if treatment can be done to those who aren’t terminal, then that should be the path sought. Again, individual cases overrule general rules and beliefs sometimes, which is why it seems the law is scared of a “free-for-all” to come with law changes.
With my family being a huge victim of suicides, it can be seen as sometimes a selfish act where the family left behind are put through hell where issues may have been solved alive.

But on a lighter note, I also read today about  a couple who sell plots of land on the moon for £20 an acre and total sales reaching 300 000 acres and a total of £6million.
However, 90% of that has gone to Denis Hope, who claims rights to all planets and satellites through a loophole in the US legal system and then gave the couple rights to sell land on the moon for their business.

That still leaves them with £600 000 from selling land they cant even reach, so fair play to them during the recession. I am gonna start selling plots of land from Uranus and hope it catches on as a snazzy birthday gift for those who are hard to buy for, and phase out gift vouchers.

Happy Birthday, here is a bit of Uranus from Ouranus!

Currently listening to: Fleet Foxes - White Winter Hymnal (aka the song on co-op radio that never gets announced and I finally found out what it was) from self titled album.

Lithuanian; great for travelers

I do love my mum for her – I dont want to say simplicity so I am gonna glorify it – for her excellence. She picked my up today after work in fear it might be raining as I walk home and the conversation in the car occured as follows:

Mum: “Good day at work?”
Me: “Yeh, was grand, you alright?”
Mum: “Yeh feel good, went for a 40 minute walk today”
Me: “Ah that’s good then, where abouts?”
Mum: “just all up bromley road and downham way, its good cos i usually do 4 nights a week, but i’ve lost my stride recently “
Me: “ahhaha good pun mum”
Mum: “What?”
Me: “Good pun there…”
Mum:”…What?”

Made my evening, which would be hard to do as I encountered 3 of the funniest Co-Op Logistics Drivers, although for different reasons.

The first guy was the living example of a good employee. However I am sure he was a pro wrestler at some point in his life before he decided to drive lorries and deliver food. Picture the scene, it’s raining buckets at 6pm in South East London, this guy is wearing shorts and a t-shirt that look too small for him and he is tonk. He has moustaches like Hulk Hogan, and is jumping and climbing all over the cages and lorry like its nothing. He had the job done within the 15-20 minute mark. Legend.

The second guy was the laziest and worst delivery guy I’ve ever seen. He stood around on the phone initially and smoked a fag. He then proceeded to put two cages onto the loading bay that holds 3 each time, and by the second run I return around the corner to find a cage full of frozen goods lying on the floor with him scratching his head and another fag in the mouth.

It, er droppd

Yeah, I can see that.

Giv’us a hand yeah boss?

Grrr. Guess what he almost does with the next one?
He took a good 45 mins for half the amount of cages.

It, er, fell down?

The Last guy was Lithuanian, and wearing a St. Paddys Day ’04 t-shirt.

That says it all.