Michael Jackson saw it coming a mile away….

Jackson wearing a mask in 1992; and every year after in preparation for the 2009 swine flu pandemic

Did you know that the common influenza disease kills about half a million people a year? That’s during our ‘flu season’ and you don’t usually get a massive hoo-ha about it. Swine flu has killed a *confirmed* 8  people in Mexico and 1 in the USA according to the WHO (World Health Organisation) with 170+ possible deaths, that haven’t actually yet been proved as the H1N1 strain.

I swear the world’s media is fearmongering people into thinking this swine flu will be a repeat of the 1918 Spanish flu, which did kill an estimated 80million people. Scientists have been predicting this since 2005 however, and the world is said to be ready to easily combat this strain now and I can’t see this turning into the medicinal holocaust 1918 was.
But then I suppose I’m not an expert in this field at all, so maybe I shouldn’t get involved?

It just brings a lot of stupidity from people who listen to the media too religiously. My brother told me yesterday of how he sneezed in class, and fellow pupils asked to be moved away from him because he has swine flu. At first, granted, I laughed, but these kids genuinely felt for their health.

I see statuses on facebook reading, ‘I seem to be contracting flu like symptoms… maybe I should go to the doctors to check for swine flu?’, and I just hope they aren’t serious.

Granted the first confirmed death outside Mexico due to swine flu was called earlier from the Texas authorities, a poor 22 month old baby falling victim to the disease, and the pandemic was raised to phase 5 last night due to someone contracting the disease despite not traveling to Mexico but their girlfriend had traveled to Mexico.

Tragic as this news is, I’m not afraid of swine flu yet, and it’s nice to see some humour is there to lift up spirits in this awful climate we are currently in;

It's a-me, a-mario! a-kinda....

Please, Defense Minister, NOO!

I think my former blog may have been a tad harsh, but, oh well.

Bigger fish to fry right now! I just woke up from one of the weirdest dreams I’ve ever had. However I think I can explain bits of it (I think).

Picture this:

The scene is New York, USA. Myself and a few friends are detectives, with a bit of a twist though…. We are on the hunt of something a little strange. Defense Minister Dimitri Mishkin (pictured right, who is from the James Bond film Goldeneye) is killing people.

The russian defense minister from Goldeneye

But not in the usual and conventional way. Oh no.
Our little friend is using his demonic red eye power to tell the gangs of New York to kill very random victims.

When I say random, I mean that in the dream, me and my friends are shown the case files of a gang inviting some old people to play mini golf and then murdering them with the plastic clubs?

Roll forward a bit in the dream and the setting is a weirdly shaped marquee and we’re chasing Mishkin as he has just told some Japanese kid to kill himself by bashing his head against a pole. We catch up, we spin him around, and who do I discover we were chasing instead? Roman Abramovich. In my shock to discover that I didn’t realise that everyone was running away it seems, because the next moment I’m being shot in the side by Chris Rock, and as I lay dying, he takes off his sunglasses to reveal his red eyes and good ol’ defense minister mishkin is over his shoulders and they both say at the same time, “That’s right mother fucker!”", and I wake up. Very, very, scared.

That's right mother fucker!

Charlie!

You know what annoys me more than the media splashing poor Jade Goody all over the papers and news?
Yep you guessed it, it’s her thug of a husband on it every day now.  I can’t believe he got his jail term reduced due to the “recent change” in his “personal circumstances”. How messed up is that?

Next time I decide to invade a taxi drivers car, pull the handbrake at 50mph to almost kill both myself and the driver, then threaten to stab the bloke, I’ll make sure that when my court case way down the line is around about the same time of  the passing away of a family member. I feel sorry for his kids.

Tell you what else is fucked up. The court decision in Saudi Arabia to approve the marriage of an eight year old, to a fifty-eight year old. Apparently its fine if he waits till she hits puberty before he has sex with her. That’s what the court decided anyway, and this movement would also “end the negative aspects of the practice”…. Guess again!

Ah, anyway, time for a happy note. I got a lindt easter bunny!

I love these bad boys. But since turning 14 or so, my family deemed it unnecessary to give me and my brother chocolate at Easter.

Seems it took a lot of complaining about this for my girlfriend to get me one. Oh, I am a happy one. 

Also, for anyone who has seen the Charlie bit me video on youtube, this remix is a must see.

Mud, bicycles, and a load of custard.

When I first started the blog a few months  ago I thought I would struggle for topics to write on, which has proven to not be the case, but now I feel so behind with it.

Must be nearly a week ago since I wanted to blog about my drunken Thursday night when God blessed some of the lads and myself with a shopping trolley at the bottom of Eliot Pathway. Result = feeling like a real young teenager again. A muddy one at that it appeared the following day.

Since then I have fallen victim to fucking bicycle crime again. My bike, fair enough, is one of the newest and nicer looking bikes in the bike shed under the causeway, and a couple of weeks ago someone just took the chain off it for the craic, then the other day I found the front wheel stolen. Why is it always me?

Seems to be the only option I have to reduce my chance of being victimised again

However, I did get my reading ticket third year in a row, and the initial lineup is looking pretty awesome,  just looking forward to more and more to come. The countdown starts, 149 days.

Did custard doughnuts only just come into existence by the way? I bought a pack today thinking they were just normal jam, and when i took a massive bite and discovered custard I said “fuck, I’ve hit the mother-load” to myself in the staff room of the Co-Op. I just took a minute out from writing to eat another. They are amazing.

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